A red herring to knowing what you want
Recently, I was talking to a client about a new career path she’s interested in.
It fits with something core about her temperament. When she talks about it, my felt experience is that her interest comes from somewhere deep within her. From her gut.
But then she started telling me:
But Katie, I don’t want to spend every free moment of my leisure time thinking about this topic. Does that mean this career isn’t right for me?
But Katie, what if I change my mind later?
But Katie, what if AI destroys all jobs in this profession? In all professions?
I said to her:
Those *could* all be valid concerns. And I’m happy to talk about them. (For example, I absolutely adore my profession as a coach, but don’t necessarily want to think about it during much of my leisure time.)
But even more deeply:
If you go looking for reasons why it’s a bad idea, you *will* find them.
…
Let me say that again:
If you go looking for reasons why it’s a bad idea, you *will* find them.
Ultimately, the most important decisions in life cannot be made using a pro-con list.
(There, I said it.)
And that’s because you could find really, really good counter-arguments to any idea.
If you don’t want to have kids, there could be such good reasons to have kids.
If you do want to have kids, there could be such good reasons to *not* have kids.
Ultimately, the thing that will decide it for you — the only thing that can decide it for you — is the stick-to-your-ribs, burst-from-the-belly, almost-a-grunt of “because I want to!”
(This is not to say that logic doesn’t play a role. Obviously, we need our smart brains. It’s just to say: our smart brains are like frisky dogs with very, very long leashes that tend to get completely tangled up in them. More on that here.)
And so, while we do want to realistically engage with potential problems (that client and I did talk about each of her concerns, one-by-one)…we also don’t necessarily want to let them completely derail us.
Sometimes they are simply red herrings.
If you go looking for reasons why it won’t work, you *will* find them.
…
As always, I’m rooting for you in the week ahead. You’ve got this.
Katie
p.s. And if that stick-to-your-ribs, burst-from-the-belly, almost-a-grunt of “because I want to!” is hard for you to find? I’d highly recommend hiring me to be your coach. More about that here.
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