When people don’t like you

I’d like to make a radical suggestion: 

When you fear that people are judging you — or even when you fear that they simply don’t like you — here’s what you should do:

Let them.

Let them think that you’re lazy.
Let them think you’re unintelligent.
Let them think you’re mean or inconsiderate.
Let them not like you.

Let them think all of those terrible things….and do not try to change their minds.

And yes, this applies *even* to your boss/mom/best friend. It applies *especially* to them.

You might be surprised by what happens.

(What usually happens for me? Well, when I stop trying to manipulate them into thinking something positive about me…I feel radically more loving towards them. That, alone, loosens the relationship — and leads to many other positive results.) 

As always, I’m rooting for you in the week ahead. You’ve got this.

Katie

p.s. I coach clients on all kinds of relationship issues — with their families, their partners, their friends, and their online dating profiles — and on everything from difficult conversations to people pleasing to loneliness to fostering deeper connections to setting effective boundaries (which often function differently than we assume). If you’d like to work with me, you can learn more here.

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