The millennial “solution” to overwhelm

A millennial walks into a Zoom call with me… 

“I’m totally burnt out, she tells me. “I work way too many hours, there’s way too much stress at my job.”

“I’ve got a plan, though,” she says.

I perk up. I love a good plan. What will it be?

“I’m going to keep working for six more months. Then I’ll quit my job, buy an Airstream, and live by the ocean for a year.”

Oh.

Interesting.

Let’s play this common “plan” out to its logical conclusion:

This millennial keeps working through exhaustion and overwhelm, until she is completely, 100% burnt out. Luckily, she has saved up enough money to take a year off, but she spends at least 4 months of it just recovering from burnout.

She does enjoy the next 4 months. She lives in an Airstream by the ocean, after all! Or she backpacks around New Zealand! That’s pretty fun!  

But in the last 4 months, she starts looking for a job again, and realizes…

…the best jobs available to her will be in her former industry.

So she takes a job. This job is similar to her previous one: decently interesting, has good people, but has very demanding work. Since she never actually learned how to set boundaries and accept tradeoffs… she will quickly be on the road to burnout yet again.

I hope she can save up money quickly for another year in a van by the sea.

…

I can’t tell you how many millennials I’ve heard tell me this plan. And how many more I’ve watched live this plan, in their Instagram-facing lives.

I call this the “I’ll avoid setting boundaries or making changes, totally burn myself out, and then live in a van by the sea for the year” plan.

Or “The Millennial Solution to Overwhelm,” for short.

To be clear: I’m not opposed to living in a van by the sea for a year. Or backpacking around New Zealand. That actually sounds pretty fun!

I just think that it would be far more fun to quit your job having figured out how to do a good job at your job without burning yourself out.

Then, you could start your year in a van by the sea feeling really good and happy (as opposed to spending months recovering from burnout). And then you wouldn’t be afraid of taking another job again, because you’d be confident that you had the skills to add significant value at work, while also feeling cared-for and happy in your life.

…

And of course — not every job is right for you! I’ve left jobs simply because I didn’t want to do them anymore.

But if you like many elements of your job (the people, the work, the industry), except that you’re stressed, exhausted, and don’t have any time…that’s when I think you need to look deeper.

Looking deeper requires a few things:

• Making tough tradeoffs.

  The #1 tradeoff? Accepting that others may not think you’re the “perfect” employee if you don’t give them exactly what they want when they want it. 
  
  The ironic thing, of course, is that when you stop trying to be “perfect” and please them all the time, you’ll have more energy, time, and focus. With that energy, time, and focus, you might actually add far more value to your team.  
  

• Being willing to try something new.

  The first pushback I typically get is that it’s “not possible” to have more time or feel less stressed at your current job. Here’s the thing, though: I haven’t met a 1:1 life coaching client who I wasn’t able to help get those exact outcomes if it was something they wanted.  
  
  Of course, there are limitations in every role. But you would be extremely pleasantly surprised, at what is possible if you’re willing to ask tough questions + try new things.
  
  In other words: Just try me.
  

• Being different.

  I understand that everyone else in your job hustles all day has no free time…and seems to be okay with it. 
  
  But are you okay living like that?
  
  Something I often say to my 1:1 life coaching clients is: Could you be an example of what’s possible?
  
  If I knew someone at my exhausting, stressful job who actually seemed…happy, like she had time, and who also did good work, I would be desperate to know how she managed it.
  
  Could it be good to be different? Could being different allow you to help others?
  

…

So here’s my suggestion: quitting your job to live in a van by the sea for a year sounds super fun.

But it will be even more fun if — first — you learn how to work a job in a way that works for you.

And if you’d like help figuring that out, I can’t recommend 1:1 life coaching enough. I will be opening just a few slots in June, and already have a waitlist. If you’d like to be next on the list when I do have openings, you can learn more + join the waitlist here.

Sign up for my newsletter to get helpful + encouraging essays like this every Sunday morning. It’s free!

As always, you’ve got this.

Katie