How you may feel when you quit your job

Just a lil’ PSA today:

Some of my clients, at some point, quit their jobs without something else lined up next. Often, this is a decision that is very intentionally chosen — for a long time, they’ve been craving extra time to rest, and dream about what’s next. 

When they were still working, they imagined this time of planned unemployment as delightful. 

The joyful mornings at coffee shops! The invigorating extra workouts! The extra hangouts with friends!

And then, when they’ve finally quit and have this longed-for extra time, they often find that while there are fun parts, there is also… anxiety. 

Sometimes…a lot of anxiety. 

Anxiety about figuring out what they want next.

Anxiety about whether they’ll ever get hired again. 

And just weird, mysterious, floating anxiety. 

This has happened to a handful of my clients in the past six months, and I have told them all the same thing: This is totally, profoundly normal. 

…

Here’s the thing: when you have more empty space + time in your life than you are accustomed to…stuff tends to come up. 

Stuff like…

Feelings. 

Thoughts. 

Body sensations (jitteriness, jumpiness, difficulty sitting still are common ones). 

This is true, across life. 

If you’ve had a super busy period at work, and suddenly the project ends, you might expect to feel amazing – and you might end up with a lot of “stuff” coming up. 

If you are a super busy parent and finally have some help + more free time — you might expect to be truly joyful, but spend at least some of that time with “stuff” coming up. 

Sometimes the “stuff” comes right away. You wake up on your first day of unemployment, filled with anxiety. Other times, there’s a honeymoon period of days or weeks, of pure joy. And then, it hits you like a ton of bricks. 

Often, my clients don’t typically feel quite so negative, in their general lives. So it can be extra-disorienting to have these negative thoughts or feelings or sensations. 

…

I have some theories about why this happens: I think most of us have more negative feelings than we are processing, on a day-to-day basis. And when we suddenly have more empty space, all of that unprocessed anxiety or fear or sadness or just existential sensation jumps in, to say: now that you have some empty space, can we play?

But I think even more important than why this happens is simply acknowledging that it does happen, and if it is happening, nothing is wrong. 

And here’s what I tell my clients, if it’s helpful to you, too: 

1. “Nothing is going wrong.”
   This is normal. This happens to almost everyone. Do not freak out. When there’s empty space, stuff just tends to come up.
   
   

2. And also: “You need to spend some of your new free time attending to this.”
   “This is annoying. And, some of your free time will need to be spent managing your anxiety (or fear or sadness), and taking it very seriously.” (This is a moment when I talk to my clients about concrete strategies that work for them, to manage thoughts or feelings.) 

…

Remember when I said this is a PSA? I meant it. 

I want you to remember: if you quit your job to rest + regroup (or otherwise find yourself with more free time than usual)….it may not feel 100% amazing. 

This is not to say you shouldn’t do it! I have done it, and enjoyed it, and have many clients who felt the same. 

It’s simply to say: if you feel not as amazing as you expected, don’t freak out. Take it seriously. If you do, then you might go back to enjoying the extra time just as much as you hoped  ☺

As always, I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.

Katie




p.s. If you'd like some support in cultivating your own sustainable pace (both in identifying what it is + making it a freaking reality), I can't recommend life coaching enough.

If you'd like to work with me, you can learn about my work here.