My intentions: Holiday burnout edition

Thanksgiving is done, December lies ahead.

Whew.

If you’re anything like me, you might not need more “self development ideas and insights” in this exact moment. You might feel a little full-to-the-brim with a combination of turkey, pecan pie, and social plans.

So instead, I wanted to ask: what are your intentions for December?

When I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and really answer that question, here’s my honest answer: I want to take good care of myself in December.

My life has been — shall we say — energetically expensive this year (actually, the past two or three years, but who’s counting?). I’ve been saving as much energy as I can, but the “energy bill” is coming in high nonetheless.

If I’m being honest, I felt some grief that “take good care of myself” was my honest intention for December.

I would have preferred a more “glamorous” answer, like:

Really enjoy the holiday season!

Make tons of holiday memories!

Go sledding and have an incredible birthday party and really decorate for Christmas!


But my honest answer remained the same: I want to take good care of myself this month.

And look, holidays will be had. I’m excited to light a menorah with my 3-year-olds, to decorate a tree, to make Christmas cookies.

But also, I’m purposefully keeping things simple:

• I’d like to eventually have more holiday décor for our home, but I won’t be buying it this year. #I’vemadeenoughdecisionsalready
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• My birthday is in December, and I often enjoy a party with friends, but this year will just be a small, family dinner.
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• We’ll probably wait to make Christmas cookies until the new year. (Hey, chocolate-dipped shortbread also tastes delicious on January 1!)
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I wish I had more “glamorous” intentions… but I don’t. Yes, I feel some grief about that — but I also feel profound gratitude towards myself, for listening so carefully to my deepest desires.

…

I share this personal note, not because you care when I make chocolate-dipped shortbread cookies — but with the hopes that it gives you permission to honestly acknowledge your most authentic intentions.

Whether you want to play or hibernate, grow or contract, connect or fall apart – I hope you’ll give yourself a loving ear, and follow what you hear.

What are your intentions for December? I’ll be rooting for you.

Katie

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How to feel less overwhelmed during the holidays

We’re in the thick of the holiday season, so I wanted to share with you the one piece of holiday advice that I live by:

Stay sensitive.

For most of us, the holidays can trigger a lot of thoughts and feelings. We might show up to a party and think:

Oh my god, I am so overwhelmed by seeing all of these cookies! I want to eat them all!

or

Oh my god, what if my aunt/dad/second cousin asks me about my job/romantic prospects/recent weight gain? 

or

Oh my god, what if my aunt/dad/second cousin looks at me askance and I can tell that they are THINKING judgmentally about my job/romantic prospects/recent weight gain?

All those thoughts and feelings can feel like too much. We can’t be expected to have big feelings and also make nice conversation over the eggnog table or the latke buffet, right? We may be tempted to push these feelings down.

But don’t. Please.

When we push down these sensitivities, we also push down our connection to our inner selves. You know, the kind of connection that would let you know if you were hungry or full. The kind of connection that would tell you if you actually wanted a sugar cookie or if you wanted to be home in your pajamas watching Girls instead.

And when we combine:

(a) a bunch of feelings and thoughts that we don’t usually feel/think,

(b) a loss of connection to our inner guidance about hunger, fullness, and what kind of nourishment our body is actually needing, and

(c) a tendency to eat when we feel stuff (hey, it happens to the best of us)

…the end result is that we might not take the best care of ourselves.

The only solution that I know is to stay sensitive. Yes, you may have to feel a little more than is comfortable, but you’ll also take far better care of yourself. And you may even find yourself connecting more deeply with others because you are showing up more authentically.

…

Of course, staying sensitive isn’t always easy. Here are some things that help me:

• Journaling before, after, or heck, during social events (I have been known to journal in the bathroom, on the Notes app on my phone).

• Having an inner dialogue with yourself about how you are actually feeling, even when you are out at social events. My belly feels tight and I have zinging in my chest and I feel impatient. Interesting. I’ll check back in again later.

• Setting boundaries, like, I know it might hurt ___’s feelings, but I’m only going to stay at the holiday party for an hour because if I stay longer, I will explode with feelings or have to shut them down by eating/numbing out. Setting boundaries means that it feels safe to be sensitive because you know that life won’t completely overwhelm you.
  
  

And above all, please know that I’m rooting for you, with all of this.

Katie

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